they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
