He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
