Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Me too!
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
