Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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