The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
