I'm eating all of the evidence.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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