My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
