I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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