just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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