My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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