I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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