Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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