My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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