I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
is that a dick in a sweater?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
