used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
