I cannot find my penis.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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