I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
