She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
