yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
