ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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