I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
