im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
