if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
