...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
