I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
