CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
