You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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