Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
