Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
