the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
