Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
