Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
