I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
