So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
