both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
