At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
