it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
