been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize