i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
