Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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