Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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