I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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