Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
