good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
