i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
