That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Randomize
