How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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