You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She bit a glass in half.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
