So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
