i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
