I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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